Have you ever felt insecure and doubtful about anything around you? I sure have. Especially these past weeks. For days, I fed myself with negative thoughts. As a result, I got discouraged, frustrated, and had mood swings. I know that feeling insecure is a natural thing that can be felt by humans. However, when a sense of insecure appears excessive and left alone, it can hamper our own development. So how do you overcome insecurity? What did I do to get myself motivated and optimistic again? Let’s find out from the review below.
Tips On How To Overcome Insecurity
You must have felt insecure and doubt in your own abilities once in a while. Insecurity can happen to anyone at any time. Sometimes you feel that your achievement at work is not as good as others, when you feel that you are not good enough, or when you feel that you are not loved enough by people. Those kinds of negative thoughts will only make you so stressed out and frustrated.
What makes us feel insecure?
A study states that 40% of the causes that make a person feel happy are fun things that just happened to live. The research reinforces the fact that the events experienced are very influential on one’s mood and the way a person evaluates himself.
So, this also applies to unpleasant events, one of which is experiencing rejection from others. Job applications that are not accepted, failed to enter the desired school or university and rejected love statements will affect the level of confidence.
The more often you face failure, the more you feel unwanted. Then, you will fall into negative thoughts like, “Ah, never mind. I really am useless.”
Insecurity can also arise because of fear to join the social environment. Maybe you often feel anxious about how people will judge you, or imagine a worst-case scenario like being excluded from friendship because you think you are not pleasant enough to be friends with.
A whisper from within like “what am I compared to them” makes you doubt. As a result, you will tend to avoid social activities with other people.
Pressure from parents can also foster the feelings of insecurity early on in children. Having a very strict and hard way to educate children like shouting when they make mistakes will have an impact on their development. Children tend to be a person who often blames themselves and feels worthless.
Tips to overcome the feeling of insecure that often arises
The sense of insecurity is human and can be felt by anyone. However, if it happens too often, it will also have a bad impact on your life. In addition to stress, insecure feelings that are not addressed will make you hesitate to start doing something. That’s what happened to me. I started to have doubts and did not have the energy to take care of the website and wrote new content. Luckily, I have supports from family and friends. They kept telling me that I am loved. They help me to go back up and keep going.
Also read: 10 BEST WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS
Maybe insecurity will still come later and I know it might not disappear completely, but there are various ways that can be done so that these feelings do not continue to arise and disturb the mind. Here are some tips for you:
Stop blaming yourself
Fighting negative thoughts that arise is not an easy thing to do, especially after you make a mistake. The anxiety about the bad possibilities that can occur makes you endlessly blame yourself.
However, it will not make changes to events that have already occurred. Realize that you are not the only one who makes mistakes, everyone has experienced the same thing.
Grab a journal and write down your negative thoughts and fears, then observe and focus on what solutions will be done so you will not repeat the same mistakes.
Writing down your feelings can also help you to let go of negative thoughts that make you feel insecure.
Don’t compare yourself with others
On social media, someone only displays the best version of themselves. In fact, you do not know if there was something going on behind someone else “wonderful” life. So, don’t bother comparing your life with others to avoid feeling insecure.
You surely do not want to do exactly what others are doing. Living someone else’s life is never good for you.
Remind yourself about who you are, what is important to you, and your own strengths. This will make you more grateful. For example, “My family is very supportive of me. That means a lot” or “My faith is the foundation of my life.”
By emphasizing the values that you believe in, then the feeling of insecurity that you have will fade away by itself. Because you are no longer focused on comparing yourself with others.
Do things that you enjoy
Going out with friends, taking your pet for a walk, trying something you’ve never done, or vacationing to a dream place, there are still many other fun things that can be a pity to miss. I know right now due to the COVID19 lockdowns, we have limited choices. But there are still so many things we can do at home that can distract us from feeling insecure. Try to focus more on something that can make you happy and forget of feeling insecure.
You surely have hobbies that you like to do at home. Most of the activities that are classified as hobbies are full of creativity, such as writing, playing music, photography, or making crafts. So, besides making yourself happy by doing the things you enjoy doing, you’ll also increase your creativity.
Also read: 5 MINUTE MEDITATION TO RELIEVE STRESS
Focus on Being Yourself
Trying to be someone else shows that you are afraid to be judged by others, afraid of being ridiculed and pouted, or always force yourself to be someone who meets the expectations of others.
It will be very tiring if you continue to wear a mask when socializing. In addition, not being yourself can also make you not love yourself.
For example, when you feel insecure when hanging out with friends, you might be tempted to imitate their behavior that seems confident. But instead of just trying to follow in their footsteps, focus on your own efforts. You do not have to be the center of attention, but believe that your personality is unique and not owned by others.
Talk to the people closest to you
Arrange a meetup, for example sitting in the nearest coffee shop or just walking around the shopping center. This activity can divert you from negative thoughts. Or, you can simply have a video chat with your loved ones. At least, this way you let yourself to open up about your feelings. Don’t let these feelings bottled up.
Give credit to yourself
You just got an award at the office, or you just got the best score, it never hurts to do a little celebration when the things you do produce sweet results.
Even though your achievements may not be as great, be proud because this can increase your confidence.
Including when you get praise from people around you, make it as a reminder when your insecurity comes.
Dare to socialize with new people
Maybe you feel anxious when dealing with a new social environment. Try to go slowly, target on how intensely you want to have a conversation with other people. For example, at one meeting you will meet two new friends.
You can also chat with your colleagues to get to know him or her more closely, including knowing things they like and their hobbies. You do not need to force yourself to directly talk with many people. Start with small. Eventually, your fear of getting to know a new environment will diminish.
Overcoming insecurity that often arises is not easy and it can’t be done in just one night. Don’t worry if the small changes you make haven’t paid off. All require a process, as you continue to work things will also get better.
If the sense of insecure that you feel is not going away, consult this with a therapist to find out other factors that can be a cause.
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Thank you for reading today’s topic: Do You Overcome INSECURITY?